Big Leather Couch

“AND WHEN I DIE”

The Forbes.com website ranks 13 celebrities pushing up daisies on their income and proves that death need not be an obstacle to making money, with the group collectively earning 247 million dollars in the last year.

1. Kurt Cobain 50 million

2. Elvis 42 million - First time he is out of first place in years.

3. Charles Schulz, 35 million

4. John Lennon 24 million

5. Albert Einstein, 20 million.

6. Andy Warhol, 19 million

7. Theodor Geisel, Dr Seuss 10 million

8. Ray Charles, 10 million

9. Marilyn Monroe, 8 million

10. Johnny Cash 8 million

11. J.R.R. Tolkein, 7 million

12. George Harrison, 7 million dollars

13. Bob Marley, 7 million dollars

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH”

"Michael J. Fox is allowing his illness to be exploited and in the process is shilling for a Democrat politician," Rush Limbaugh said of the ad for Senate candidate Claire McCaskill of Missouri.

The Big Fat Pumpkin Head, Limbaugh later seemed to back off the idea that Fox was acting out symptoms, saying he didn't mean to imply "that one could easily act it out for the purposes of a commercial."

But he also said, "I have gotten a plethora of e-mails from people saying Michael J. Fox has admitted in interviews that he goes off his medication for Parkinson's disease when he appears before Congress or other groups as a means of illustrating the ravages of the disease."

YO PUMPKIN HEAD –Doesn’t make sense, when you are trying to convince people to support research, to show them what can happen to those with the disease? Not everyone can afford the medication needed and ….now listen closely you pill-popping ignoramus…if we can find a cure then those afflicted don’t need to take the medication at all! - OH sorry, you like to take pills…THE COUCH forgot!

Fox has filmed commercials for Democratic candidates who support stem cell research.

John Rogers, Fox’s spokesman retorted “It’s an appalling, sad statement. Anybody who understands Parkinson’s knows it’s because of the medicine that one experiences” body movements like those seen in the ad.

“AIRHEAD”

KIDDIES - YA JUST GOTTA LOVE THIS ONE - thanks to Pia for the heads-up!

Associated Press
MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) -- Loretta Nall, the Libertarian Party's write-in candidate for governor of Alabama, is campaigning on her cleavage and hoping that voters' eyes will eventually refocus on her platform.

"It started out as a joke, but it blew up into something huge," Nall said.

Her campaign includes:
Campaign gear showing her smiling in a low-cut dress

Her campaign platform, includes:

• tax credits for sending children to private school and home schooling,
• opting out of the No Child Left Behind Act,
• Legalizing marijuana - Early in her campaign, she talked about how her misdemeanor arrest for marijuana possession in 2002 caused her to start the U.S. Marijuana Party and become an advocate for decriminalizing marijuana.
• Not complying with the Patriot Act and the Real ID Act.
• Trying to withdraw the Alabama National Guard from Iraq.
  "When people in Alabama get tired of kicking the ass of brown people, it's time to pull out," she said in her characteristically over-the-top style.

Then she entertained readers of her campaign Web site with lots of information about her personal life, including a discussion of why she doesn't wear panties.

Now her campaign is offering everything from T-shirts to marijuana stash boxes adorned with a photo of her in a dress with a plunging neckline and the words: "More of these boobs."

Below that are pictures of other candidates for governor - including Republican incumbent Bob Riley and Democratic Lt. Gov. Lucy Baxley - along with the words: "And less of these boobs."

No matter how far back Nall finishes on Nov. 7, that won't be the last that voters will see of her. She's already making plans to run against Republican Rep. Mike Rogers in Alabama's 3rd Congressional District in 2008.

"I enjoy this," she said.

WELL THE COUCH has always wondered why so much money is wasted on trying to stop marijuana and thinks it should be government regulated, like cigarettes and alcohol. This would also give a new crop to the many tobacco farmers who are losing their livelihood with the reduction of smoking… BUT…this is one Looney Hootchie…

For more on this incredible story, check out here website HERE

“CHAPEL OF LOVE”

THE COUCH is waiting anxiously for its invitation to the Cruise/Holmes wedding. After all we have done to solidify their relationship; we think it is only correct and proper an invitation be forthcoming.

November 18 in Italy…running off to make sure passport is still current…

“BE MY BABY”

So, Madonna is on Oprah today to tell the world what a big misconception we all have of her attempt to adopt this young boy.

Of course it is all the media’s fault for this whole controversy. She met with the dad and he totally understood (of course he does not speak English) and now the press “have gotten to him.”

Seems she is “startled” that the father didn’t realize he was giving up his son “for good.”

On the TIME website yesterday, it appears dad has changed his mind again and will not contest the adoptions “I don’t want my child, who is already gone, to come back. I will be killing his future if I accept that.”

Ah….don’t you just love these heartwarming family sagas?

"WILL IT GO ROUND IN CIRCLES?"

So, THE COUCH had some time to kill last evening and began to push the NEXT BLOG button you see at the top of the page…The Blogosphere is a strange and mysterious place…Remember, all of these sites are in the blogger.com world, we are not even touching on the thousands…tens of thousands of blogs that have their own domains…

We came across many many foreign blogs that we could not understand at all…but some had pictures and those pictures made us real curious. Check out HERE and HERE for examples.

Many had Halloween as a theme this week, which makes perfect sense.

There are people out there who are lonely….they write sad, desperate posts and never get comments.

I found sites selling “How to sell” ideas, and sites selling custom cards and sites selling things I was even sure about!

Many had advertising on them…HELLO PEPSI!!!! HELLO McDONALDS!!!!!! HERE I AM

In my short journey, I came across 6 blogs which had just been started yesterday! So, there are new blogs every day.

I found if I am on a site and I hit the back button and go to the previous blog, and then hit the NEXT BLOG button again, I go to a completely different blog then I started on!

I even bookmarked three blogs to go back and read, as they seemed interesting…and left comments on a couple too!

Then I came across THE-BESTEST-BLOG-OF-ALL-TIME, which you can find HERE. This site works like the NEXT BLOG button, only it gets over 6,000 hits a day and you can be named the Best Blog of the Day, and other such stuff…

Pretty cool, so I linked them here and now I should be in the rotation over there to get seen by a whole new crop of blog-searchers!

This world just keeps going round and round….

Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.

Remember .. Nets For Malaria - UNFoundation.org/malaria - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.

SONG TITLE INDEX
AND WHEN I DIE words & music: Laura Nyro
SHUT YOUR MOUTH words & music: Garbage
AIRHEAD words & music: Thomas Dolby
CHAPEL OF LOVE words & music: Jeff Barry, Ellie Greewich & Phil Spector
BE MY BABY words & music: Jeff Barry, Ellie Greewich & Phil Spector
WILL IT GO ROUND IN CIRCLES words & music: Billy Preston & Bruce Fisher

THE COUCH knew something was fishy, but we thought the dad was involved…

NOW...it appears maybe the government is the one being paid under the table…

SHOCK SURPRISE!

The father of the Malawian boy Madonna plans to adopt is now saying he never intended his son to be adopted by the pop star, but only for her to raise the child on his behalf.

In an interview with Reuters Television in his home village of Lipunga on Saturday, Yohane Banda said Madonna asked that she be able to raise his one-year-old son on his behalf, rather than that the child should become her own.

"Had they told us that Madonna wanted to adopt my son and make him her own son, we would not have agreed to that," Banda said in his local language of Chichewa. "It would have been better for him to continue staying at the orphanage because I see no reason why my child should be given away forever when I can feed him."

"I cannot read and write so I relied on what the (government) officials told me that the papers said Madonna would look after the child the way the orphanage planned to educate him and then he comes back to me," Banda said.

Asked if he had any copies of the agreements he signed with Madonna, Banda said: "I am still waiting to get my copies." He said the copies were still in the hands of the government officials who mediated the agreement.

Banda said he would wait to see them before deciding what action to take after consultations with his mother and other family members.

Banda said he gave the boy to the orphanage mainly for medical care and breast-feeding after the boy's mother died of malaria days after giving birth to him.

"We sent this child to an orphanage because at one month we could not look after him, we did not have a health center nearby and the orphanage was the ideal place for him," he said.

A senior Malawian government official on Monday dismissed as untrue remarks by Banda.

His comments were categorically denied by Penson Kilembe, director of child welfare in the Ministry of Women and Child Development, who told Reuters the Ministry explained every detail of the process to Banda and his family.

"We explained every detail, and Madonna herself explained her intentions in the face of the judge and in Banda's presence," Kilembe said. "He (Banda) was asked several times in court if he understood what was going on, and he said he did."

Kilembe is one of the senior government officials whom Banda said he met several times over his son, David, and whom he said had made him sign papers he later said he never understood.

Banda told Reuters he could not read or write and relied on what government officials told him.
Kilembe said Banda was told 12 children had been presented (presented????) to Madonna, who picked David, and that the singer would select (would select???? - as in, Oh, let's see that dress in a different color, would select????) another child if Banda did not want his son adopted.

"What he has told you now is not true," Kilembe said, but refusing to provide the adoption papers that the father signed.

Kilembe then climbed into his 2007 Hummer and drove to his brand new 25-room home on the outskirts of the city.

OK…OK…OK…I made the last paragraph up, but I would watch this joker’s bank account real closely!
Judge Lake did a good thing sentencing Jeff Skilling to 24 years in prison and ordering him to pay $45 million in restitution.

Of course this dirtbag Skilling keeps claiming he did not do anything wrong.

"I will live those days and everything that happened subsequently for the rest of my life," he said. "I have friends who died," said Skilling.

Ummm...Jeff, OK Ken Lay died of a heart attack…though THE COUCH still wants to see the actual body before believing he is not living in Pago Pago…BUT…Cliff Baxter shot himself, taking the coward’s way out.

"All that being said, your honor, I am innocent of these charges. I am innocent of every one of these charges."

Outside the courthouse, a resolute Skilling said he had no regrets that he went to trial rather than cut a plea deal.
"No. I'm innocent," he said, when asked if he considered it. "I can't do that. I've told my children I'm innocent."

OCTOBER 8, 2006
THE COUCH arrived in Memphis and drove to the Hilton located across from where its new office would be.

THE COUCH unloaded the car with the help of a bellhop, and walked to the front desk. Our reservation was in order, but when she ran the debit card, she noted (with a slight scowl) that it was not accepted.

Well, THE COUCH kind of felt that might happen. You see, THE COUCH doesn’t have any credit cards at the moment.

So, THE COUCH made a call and explained this to our boss. He suggested to just go down the road to the Hampton Inn, because it was a direct bill to the company hotel. Now the travel office is not open on the weekends (and doesn’t have a cover service---not smart IMHO), so THE COUCH drove over to the Hampton.

The clerk obviously didn’t know anything about the direct bill, but ran the debit for one night and it did pass…so THE COUCH moved its stuff into the room assigned.

OK, looking around…umm where is the closet? OH there it is…but ummm it is all of 24” deep…NO LIE…OK, will deal with it…

THE COUCH looked around and realized there was not a dresser in the room. The only drawers being the two in the nightstand. OK this will not do for a 3 week stay.

That night THE COUCH took matters into it’s own hands and pulled out the yellow pages and called around. The Staybridge Suites hotel is also right near the office. Calling over there, THE COUCH found that the discount rate for ServiceMaster is actually lower then any of the other hotels suggested to stay in.

OCTOBER 9, 2006
A call goes to the travel company and they make arrangements for THE COUCH to check in the next day. That would give it time for some money to hit the checking account to pay for the stay at the Hampton.

The travel company also explains that the Hampton Inn THE COUCH is currently in is not the correct Hampton Inn that offers our company direct billing, so the bill would have to be paid for upon checking out!

OCTOBER 10, 2006
At noon check-in at The Staybridge occurs and THE COUCH feels like this is a good move. Two rooms a refrigerator, a microwave a separate room to sleep in.

OCTOBER 11 – 15
Apartment hunting and finally a great place is found on Saturday!

BUT, THE COUCH realizes that the excellent apartment that will be it’s home in Memphis will not be available until the beginning of November meaning the hotel stay will be almost 22 days.

Now this is all being reimbursed, but without a credit card, the money is immediately deducted from the checking account and …well…that is not going to work.

So, down to the front desk.. “Can you direct bill my company?” “No, they do not stay here enough.” RUT RO

OCTOBER 16, 2006
Call to company…"What to do?” “Well move to the Hampton Inn that DOES direct bill.”
THE COUCH has to ask “Does it have a dresser and a larger closet?” The answer is an affirmative…

That night THE COUCH packs once again.

OCTOBER 17, 2006
The move to the new Hampton Inn occurs.

Yup…dresser…yup…bigger closet (not much bigger, but still)…but no refrigerator, no microwave…one room… OH Well, THE COUCH is resourceful.

But a slightly weird smell in the bathroom. Front desk sends up maintenence...they spray some air freshener..smell is gone.

OCTOBER 19, 2006
Phone call … “Sorry, you are not approved to move into this apartment complex.”
THE COUCH is devastated….what to do…what to do…..????????

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

OK, calm down….breathe deep…a few friends of THE COUCH dope slap him into realizing he just needs to relax. Thank you friends!

OCTOBER 20, 2006
Leave work early and go to another apartment complex down the road.

OK, it is older, not as “pretty” as the one THE COUCH was going to move into, but you know what? Have to make a decision.

In the leasing office, THE COUCH says “Look, I was at one of your other properties (YUP, same management company) and before I write you a check for you to review my financials, let me tell you that I was denied there. My score was a bit too low.”
The response: “OH, no problem Mr. COUCH, we have a lower scoring system, and as you were talking, I checked and you qualify.”

So, THE COUCH makes the deal, signs the papers. Actually take possession the following Wednesday and gets money off the first three months.

Back to hotel…hummmm..same management company…different scoring levels…apartments pricing almost the same!?!?

THE COUCH thinks it could make a real stink over this, but decides…The hell with it … and moves on.

OCTOBER 23, 2006
THE COUCH arrives back after a day at work. Front desk says, "OH excuse me Mr. COUCH, but we have to move you to a new room. It seems there is a problem with your toilet, so we are moving you into the room next door."

THE COUCH moves all it's stuff into the room next door...

FINAL TALLY:
14 days in town
4 hotel bookings
3 hotel stays
4 hotel rooms
2 apartment applications
1 apartment approval
OK, can't help myself...
knowing it is almost all over...PRICELESS

THE COUCH might have “dissociative fugue”…maybe it just imagined the whole thing!
Nope...it happened!
And finally…from the city of Brotherly Love….(thanks for the heads-up Turn)
AP Sports PHILADELPHIA (Oct. 23) - A father pulled a gun on a youth football coach because his son wasn't getting enough playing time, police said.

Wayne Derkotch, 40, was arguing with the coach Sunday during a game of 6- and 7-year-olds when he drew the weapon, police said. No shots were fired.

Derkotch was charged with aggravated assault and other offenses. He did not immediately return a call to his home Monday.

A referee accused of throwing a punch at a man was also arrested on assault charges, police said

KIDDIES.... 6 and 7 year olds!!!!!!!!!! Can we get some reason here folks!!??!!??



Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.

Remember .. Nets For Malaria - UNFoundation.org/malaria - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.

SONG TITLE INDEX:
BABY COME BACK ©1983 Words and music by Billy Rankin.
CRIME I DIDN’T DO©1932 Arranged by Nick Manoloff.
Words and music by Jimmy Long and Gene Autry.M.M. Cole Publishing House, 1932.
HEARTBREAK HOTEL ©1956Thomas Durden and Mae Boren Axton
ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT ©1987 REM

Hummm….need to work on my teacher’s presentation skills as I did not get as many comments on THE SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD as I had expected!

Or maybe it is just that I have a bunch of slackers in my classroom!

Coco...teach me to motivate please! (more on Coco & teachers later)

Well…it all comes down to tonight. Game 7 of the National League Championship… Mets vs. Cardinals…one game for the Championship…never gets better than that!

Will we get a Detroit vs. St. Louis World Series and the Duck (our friend Damm) vs. The DuckMaster (our friend Dixie) grudge match? We will see.

Have to be impressed with the poise of John Maine, the rookie pitcher for the NY Mets.

BIG spot and he handled it like a veteran. Even after loading the bases in the first inning, he got the final out to hold the Cardinals without a run.

Paul…Paul…Paul…you should have listened to your kids.

This McCartney-Mills divorce is going to be uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits…

Wooo…THE COUCH is using Country Slang already! (tis toooo I found it HERE)

This woman is going for every penny she can get and making some real nasty allegations. The DAILY MAIL (OK, so it ain’t the Wall St. Journal), says it has acquired a court document, that if true, could ruin the “cute Beatle” forever.

According to the Mail, the papers allege:

• McCartney once attacked his wife with a broken wine glass, stabbing her in the arm and causing profuse bleeding.
• That he used illegal drugs and drank to excess.
• That McCartney had pushed his estranged wife into a bathtub while she was pregnant with their child.
• McCartney had later objected to his partner breast-feeding their daughter. The newspaper quoted the alleged court papers as saying McCartney had told his wife "they are my breasts."
• McCartney had grabbed his wife's neck and started choking her during a trip to the U.S. in 2003 and on an earlier occasion pushed her over a coffee table.
• McCartney had forced her to cancel surgery for two months, as it interfered with their holiday plans.

Mishcon de Reya, (sounds like a resort town in Mexico to us!) the law firm representing Mills McCartney in the divorce, said it would not comment on "leaked or allegedly leaked documents."

Paul McCartney's law firm said the musician "would very much like to respond in public and in detail to the allegations made recently against him by his wife and published in the press but he recognizes, on advice, that the only correct forum for his response to the allegations made against him is in the current divorce proceedings."

Now…THE COUCH knows that Paul isn’t an angel and probably still likes to “roll one up”, but some of this stuff makes us shake our heads.

THE COUCH can imagine the comment “those are my breasts” said in jest, and now being used as if it were said in anger and jealousy.

If all these other abuse allegations were true…with the media spotlight this “lovey-dovey” romance garnered from the beginning, don’t you think we would have heard about them earlier.

THE COUCH was always a John fan…but we think Paul is being raked across the mud by a money-hungry witch. But we will see.

So, Madonna fell "in love at first sight" with this 13-month old Malawi child she is trying to adopt.

THE COUCH did not realize the child has a father who is now asking all the groups trying to stop the adoption to butt out.

Seems Yohane Banda has said “These so-called human rights groups should leave my baby alone.”

Why does it seem to THE COUCH that Mr. Banda is doing just that…”leaving his baby alone” and that there is some real cash being handed under the table on this one.

YO… Madonna Louise…there are thousands of children WITHOUT parents who are in need of adoption…do not let us find out you are buying this one…that it is a business deal…

Finally for today…the happy story…

USA Today has compiled its 2006 All-Star Team.

No, not sports stars, or musicians…

BUT TEACHERS!

"Through enthusiasm, energy and innovation, these extraordinary teachers are making a difference for their students, their schools and communities," says USA Today editor Ken Paulson. "It's our honor to recognize their impressive achievements."

All-USA Teacher Team members are selected each year from kindergarten through 12th grade teachers nominated nationwide. Education professionals in a two-step judging process consider how well nominees define and meet their students' needs and most importantly, the impact they have on students and student learning.

You can find the complete list of teachers HERE.

Now, all that visit THE COUCH know about one particular teacher who would be on this list if they included Canada in the selection process.

We do know that recently she was recognized by her superiors and asked to speak to a group of her peers on how to reach “at risk” students and that she is torn between her classroom and the opportunity to become an administrator and help other teachers to do what she does every day.

We salute you also Coco.

Enjoy your day all….

Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.

Remember .. Nets For Malaria - UNFoundation.org/malaria - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.