Big Leather Couch

Yesterday our friend MATT-MAN from "Bagwine Ruminations" posted about two women who spent money for billboards reminding people to 'keep Christ In Christmas'...

Now, if they really wanted to do so, they should have taken that money and used it for those who will be without Christmas this year. If someone tells me 'Happy Holidays', I do not launch into a HECK-A-DOODLE fit and blow a few grand on some billboards that will soon be covered with smog and dirty snow...I drop some money into a Salvation Army pot at the store, or buy a toy for a child to donate to Toys For Tots.

Blowing cash on a billboard...hell no.

While reading the story over at Bagwine...I was reminded that there is one special holiday for 'the rest of us'...yup...you got it folks...

The one and only FESTIVUS!

Although the original FESTIVUS took place in February 1966 as a celebration of O'Keefe's first date with his wife, Deborah, many people now celebrate the holiday on December 23, as depicted on the December 18, 1997 Seinfeld episode "The Strike".

According to O'Keefe, the name Festivus "just popped into my head."

Now, you think you might know the customs of FESTIVUS, but those you know are the ones used on the TV program.

The real FESTIVUS - as enjoyed by the O'Keefe Family - is celebrated with family and friends huddled around a table by candlelight, eating and drinking too much, singing in German about a black pig, bitching about people who didn't like them into a barely functional tape recorder, and displaying obscene, hand-scrawled signs of a political nature.

You can find those customs and more in the book by Daniel O'Keefe entitled "THE REAL FESTIVUS".


There is also a book, written by Allen Salkin which traces the modern observances of FESTIVUS, entitled "FESTIVUS: the Holiday For The Rest Of Us".



Rituals of FESTIVUS from the real holiday and from the show include:

The placing of the FESTIVUS POLE (show) - The Festivus Pole is displayed unadorned. The pole was chosen apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, because it is "very low-maintenance", and also because the holiday's patron, Frank Costanza, finds tinsel "distracting". Erected on a lawn, balanced in a coffee can near a photocopier, stuck in a pail of rocks in the living room or suspended from fishing line on the front porch. the pole symbolizes nothing.

THE FESTIVUS DINNER (show & real)- the on-air meal appeared to be meat loaf or spaghetti in a red sauce. The original holiday dinner in the O'Keefe household featured turkey or ham followed by a Pepperidge Farm cake decorated with M&M's. In Allen Salkin's book, modern observances of FESTIVUS tend to feature heavy drinking, including beer, rum, bourbon, or wine.

THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES which takes place immediately after the FESTIVUS dinner has been served. It consists of lashing out at others and the world about how one has been disappointed in the past year. When all who care to have taken a turn griping, there is no required hugging or making up.

FEATS OF STRENGTH (show) - Traditionally, the head of the household selects one person at the FESTIVUS celebration and challenges that person to a wrestling match. The person may decline if they have something else to do, such as pull a double shift at work. Tradition states that FESTIVUS is not over until the head of the household is pinned in a wrestling match. According to the Salkin book, "While there is an undeniable classic elegance to this, real world Festivus practitioners have developed other cathartic methods of discharging pent-up energy against one's fellows, including thumb wrestling and washer tossing."

Of course there are the FESTIVUS Miracles which can occur at any time and must be acknowledged by the shouting of "It's A FESTIVUS Miracle!"

This year, to celebrate FESTIVUS - A Holiday For The Rest Of Us...I will be making donations in each of your names to The Human Fund, the official charity for FESTIVUS

And everyone that joins in the celebration will be invited to partake in the eating of the FESTIVUS Dessert...



Well today I get to do my most favoritest thing in the world...GO TO THE DENTIST!!!!!