Big Leather Couch

The SURVIVOR concert was one Josh Spain had been waiting for since the ticket sales had been announced. Standing online for 15 hours had paid off with a third row center seat. March 13th could not come fast enough.

Josh had always been known as a loner, from the time he was a teen. Throughout his high school days he could count on one hand the number of people who had spoken to him. He could always be seen eating lunch at the far back table in the seat closest to the corner. Head down, shoveling the tasteless cafeteria into his mouth. His eyes focused on the book in front of him. His taste in books leaned toward the macabre; Stephen King, Ian McEwan and Thomas Altman were his favorites.

Josh was smart. He had received a full-time scholarship to the State University to study Electrical Engineering. When Josh moved into the dorms, he met his roommate. They said hello to each other and then spent the next seven months walking around each other, studying and sleeping in the same room. That was the extent of their involvement. Josh’s roommate was in all of his freshman classes but they never walked to class, ate or even helped each other with their studies.

When sophomore year began, Josh took a small, one bedroom apartment just off campus. This ended his eating on campus, isolating him even more from the rest of the student body.

He woke each morning at precisely 7:15 AM, ate the same breakfast of toast with jam and walked to his classes. At lunch, he would sit on the commons and eat the bag lunch of ham and cheese on white with yellow mustard and an apple.

After class, he would head to the library and study at a cubicle until 9:00 PM and then walk back home, watch TV for an hour and then go to sleep.

The isolated existence was only broken up by his love for one band Survivor. It was all he listened to, in the morning, walking to school, while eating his lunch, while studying. Just about anytime he wasn’t in class or sleeping. He owned every one of their CD’s and the only music on his I-pod was Survivor.

He had never had the nerve to go to one of their concerts, but this was the penultimate for him and he would be there when they performed this time. They were appearing in a Collier Auditorium in town. Josh had checked the local bus schedule and realized that he could get there, but would have to walk home, as the busses did not run at that hour. If he saved his money, he might even be able to take a cab back, but that was uncertain.

When the Saturday finally came, Josh woke with butterflies. Tonight he would get to see Robin McAuley, Frankie Sullivan, Chris Grove, Billy Ozzelle and Marc Droubay. His heroes.

Sure the band didn’t include Jim Peterik or Dave Bickler, two of the founding members, but they were still Survivor. Sure they weren’t the huge hit makers they were when they recorder “Eye of the Tiger” and “Is This Love”, they were still Survivor.

Josh checked the clock every 15 minutes, making sure he was not late for the bus. He had planned on taking the 4:20 PM bus. The schedule said the trip would take 45 minutes. The show was at 7:30 PM, but there was no way that Josh was going to be late.
The bus stop was a 15 minute walk, so to be sure he was not late Josh left the house at 2:00 PM.

It was 5:30 when Josh walked up to the auditorium. He was the first one there. He smiled and sat on the steps listening to his I-pod. For a little while Josh began to daydream that no one else would be coming, that his dream band would be playing for an audience of one.

Then his daydream was shattered as people began arriving. More and more people and Josh began to get depressed. He wanted to be alone with his heroes. That was unrealistic though wasn’t it?

Josh stood up and realized that the line was already forming. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his ticket.

He looked at it again, as he had done hundreds of times over the last two months since buying it.

When the doors opened, Josh moved with the crowd. When he got inside the door a man held out his hand. Was he going to take his ticket? Josh looked at him and said “Sir, I need to keep this.” The man smiled at Josh. People hardly ever smiled at Josh and it made him a bit uncomfortable.

“That’s alright son, I just need to scan it to make sure it is legit. Josh held the ticket out, keeping two fingers on it while allowing the man to wave a reader over the barcode.

“Have a good time,” the man said. Josh just looked at the ground and walked in.

He looked around at the signs that told where certain sections were. He saw the sign for “Orchestra” and headed for the entrance it marked.

Entering the auditorium Josh looked around in awe. The theatre was smaller then he had imagined. It wasn’t much bigger than the movie theatre he used to go to as a boy in his hometown. This place had an extra balcony, but that was the only difference. Well that and where the screen was in the movie theatre, there was a stage.

He looked at the stage. There was their equipment. The drum set and the guitars on their stands. A chill went up and down his spine. Josh felt a small bead of sweat form on his brow. Now, why would he be sweating, he wondered?

He looked down the row of seats and, so far the row was empty. That day dream began again, no one but him in the third row. The band would see him and invite him up on stage with them. Sure he could not play an instrument and his singing voice had scared little children as he would sing along to his I-pod walking down the street. That did not matter Survivor would know he was their biggest fan.

He had begun sending letters as a teen. In a few, he even included pictures of himself wearing one of the twenty Survivor t-shirts in his collection. His letters talked about what the band meant to him. How he could not last a day without hearing their music.

Once, after his second or third letter, he found an envelope in his mailbox. Since the mailbox on the porch of his parent’s house was so small, the postman had to bend the large brown envelope to make it fit... When Josh pulled it out, he saw the label with his address on it and in the corner, he saw the band logo. He had been so excited, but he took his time to gently open the flap.

Making sure not to tear the envelope, he slowly peeled it open. As he did so, he imagined the letter inside, personally written by the band to their biggest fan. It would tell him how he was just as important in their lives as they were in his.

When he reached in he found a picture of the band with their autographs. Josh could not know that the band had not signed the picture, that was the job of people in their management company, but to him it was gold. He went to the store that day and found a frame and hung the picture right over his bed. When he went to college the picture followed.

He never understood why he never received another envelope from the band. Over the years he had probably mailed them 50 or 60 letters. He knew how busy such a great band was, but they could have at least sent a new picture when the lineup had changed.

Josh moved down the aisle and found the seat marked 12. To his amazement, it was in the very center of the aisle.

Sitting down, he looked up at the stage and a chill ran down his spine. There were Marc’s drums, Chris’ keyboards and Frankie’s guitars. He felt as if he could reach out and touch them.

Then Josh noticed the seats filling up around him. He was, once again, disappointed. “Did you really think you would be by yourself?” he admonished himself quietly.

A group of long-haired teens moved into the seats in front of him, laughing and slapping each other’s hands. For a second, josh wondered what it would be like to have friends like that, but then decided that it would be too hard. Friends took your time away from the things you wanted to do.

Josh had on a pair of chinos and his favorite t-shirt, from the original album, Survivor. The album had come out 8 years before josh was even born, but he had found a store that made t-shirts from a photograph and he had brought them a photo of the album cover, a blonde laughing dressed like someone in the military.

It had faded over the years, and Josh had considered getting a new one for the concert, but the band needed to know that their #1 fan, treasured his collection of memorabilia.

Josh realized someone had taken the seat to his right and turned to see a girl around his age. She had jet black hair with silver streaks, cut short. Was wearing a t-shirt just like his and a pair of jeans. Her eyes were surrounded by silver makeup and her lipstick was silver. She smiled at Josh and said hi.

Josh began to say hi and the words stuck in his throat. He could not remember the last time he had actually spoken to a girl. “Hey, we have the same t-shirt, cool,” said the girl.

“I had mine made,” Josh semi-whispered, looking at the ground, not able to make eye contact. “Me too!” how cool is that? We sit next to each other and we both had our t-shirts made. My name is ‘Silver Girl,’ you know, after the song. I just love Survivor. I think I am their biggest fan.”

“NO, I am. I have every album and have been writing the band and they write back to me!” Josh said. He realized he may have been a little loud, as the girl sat back and the guys sitting in the row in front all turned and look. They began to laugh and josh heard one of them say, imitating him “NO, I am!”

“Sorry.” Josh said, “Ummm, my name is Josh. Nicetameetya.”

“So, what is your favorite song? Mine is ‘Silver Girl,’ of course, but I love ‘Eye of the tiger’ and Children of the night’ and…”

“I love them all the same.” Josh interrupted.

That is when the lights went down and the crowd erupted in cheers. The people in the rows in front all stood up and Josh could not see the stage. Grumbling, he stood and looked to the stage. He could see men moving about with tiny flashlights leading others out onto the stage.

“YOU GUYS ROCK!” someone yelled.

Josh strained to see his heroes, and then the stage lights blazed and the band began to play ‘Reach’ from their latest album.

Josh began to sit and realized that no one else was sitting, so he stood there. The band was loud, so loud. Everyone was yelling making it even louder in the theatre. Josh never realized a concert could be so loud. This was so different for him.

On his left, Josh realized was a very large man. He had long grey hair and a beard. His arms were covered as far as Josh could see with tattoos. He looked like one of the motorcycle hoods Josh had seen in the movies. He was whistling over and over, the shrill piercing Josh’s ears.

On his right, the girl was dancing in her place. Josh watched her from the corner of his eye. She had big breasts and Josh realized that she was probably not wearing a bra. The lights from the stage were so bright and he could see her nipples getting harder and harder as the music continued.

At one point her hip bounced off of Josh. He almost stumbled into the biker next to him but caught himself just before banging into the man.

The song ended and the band went right into the next one. It was incredible to Josh how the whole place was singing along to the music especially ‘Silver Girl’ who, Josh realized had a very nice voice.

After the second song, Robin walked up to the mic and began to speak, “Hello! Are you already to have some fun tonight?” The crowd erupted in a cheer and Josh even let out a YEAH of his own. “We are going to play all the songs you want to hear, and hope you dance and sing along.”

The rest of the concert went by in a flash as far as Josh was concerned. As the band played, Josh found himself slowly begin to sway to the music and he even sang along softly.

‘Silver Girl’ was dancing harder and harder to the fast song. When the band began to play a slow song, she moved closer to Josh. This shocked him and then she had his hand in hers and was swinging their arms to the music. “Just like we are dancing together, huh?” she shouted.

Josh just looked at her and managed a smile. He had never held a girl’s hand before and he realized with a shock how nice it felt. Then he got embarrassed as he realized he was getting excited by it. What if she noticed what was happening? What if she saw the bulge in his pants?

He almost pulled his hand back, but liked the feel too much. They only stopped holding hands to clap after each song, and then she would take his hand again and sway to the music.

Then it was over. The band said goodnight and the lights went off. The crowd began to cheer louder than ever. Some held up lighters, others held up their cell phones. Josh began to move to leave, but ‘Silver Girl’ blocked his path. “Where ya going, they will be back for an encore. Haven’t you ever been to a concert?”

Josh looked at her, trying not to show his surprise. “Sure I have.” He lied.

Then the lights came back on and there was the band again. They played ‘Feels like Love’ and then “Eye of the Tiger’. The lights went off and the crowd was going wild.

Then the lights came back up. “Great concert, huh?” ‘Silver Girl smiled. Josh realized it was now truly over.

“The best.” He responded.

Slowly the crowd began making their way out of the theatre. Josh began to think about how to get home and decided he would walk. He was still excited by just holding hands.

As they walked out, she continued to hold Josh’s hand. “So, where do you live?” she asked. “Well, I am out by the college,” Josh responded.

“Did you drive?” she asked. “No, I took the bus, I don’t have a car.” Josh admitted. His honesty surprised him.

“Hey, I can give you a ride.” “Well, that would be nice,” Josh replied. What was he doing? His stomach was turning. He had just met this girl and was going to ride with her? He had never really even talked to a girl before, and now he just spent the night holding a girl’s hand. He was excited, but afraid all in the same manner.

They walked to the parking lot across the street. It was a three level garage. “Wait here and I will get the car.” ‘Silver Girl said. “Ummm OK.”

Josh stood on the curb watching the people flowing out of the theatre. After five minutes he began to wonder if she had changed her mind and had left him. Well, why wouldn’t she? She had probably seen the bulge in his pants and realized he was a dork.

He began to watch the cars leaving the garage, looking to see if she was in one of them speeding by him. Another five minutes passed and Josh was about to walk away when he heard a horn beep.

He looked to his left and there she was waving from the car at the curb. “Hey, sorry, I went out the wrong exit, hop on in.” Josh had one more pang of doubt and walked over and opened the door and slid into the seat.

His hand touched something wet on the seat and he looked down. His hand had some red on it. “What the…?” he began to say. “OH, sorry, I cut myself this afternoon and thought I had cleaned it up. Here, use this tissue to clean your hand.”

Josh wiped his hand on the tissue and was about to say something about the blood still being wet when she leaned over and kissed him square on the lips.

Josh was shocked. He began to pull away, but her hand went behind his head and held them tight. Then he felt her other hand slide over his lap and he jumped.

Pulling back she said “OOOO you are a jumpy one, aren’t you?” I noticed you were hard in the concert. I hope it was me and not the band.” Then she laughed.

She put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb. Josh was speechless. His mind was spinning from the kiss and from her hand rubbing his lap.

She reached over and turned on the radio. Josh was surprised to hear the classical station come on. She immediately hit the button, only to have a jazz station come on. Then she turned the dial until she landed on the rock station.

Her right hand then fell into his lap again. “Hey don’t be shy.” She took Josh’s hand and put it on her right breast. Josh did not know what to do and just left his hand there. “Well, rub it a little, it won’t break.” She said. Then her hand went back to his lap.

About half way back to the college, she turned off the main road. “No, I live further down.” Josh said. She replied, “Oh, I thought we would stop in the park here.”

She pulled the car to a stop. The park was deserted. Turning off the engine ‘Silver Girl’ undid her seat belt and moved over and began to kiss Josh again. Her hands began to undo his belt.

Josh was unsure what to do, but then she took his hand off her breast and led it up under her t-shirt. She had his pants open and was rubbing him.

The police cruiser was making its nightly run through the parking lot at around 4:00 AM.

Officer Johnson chuckled. “Well well well, what do we have here.” He laughed as the headlights from his car flashed over the car parked in the far corner. Many times he had come upon teenagers, undressed in cars here. It always made him laugh to catch them in the act, scare them and watch as they drove off, sometimes without even finishing getting dressed.

He stopped his car and radioed into the dispatcher so they knew where he was in case of a problem.

Opening the door of the cruiser, he flicked on his Megalight flashlight and approached the car.

Keeping the light down, he walked to the driver’s side door. Then he held the light up and flashed it into the car.

He jumped back and pulled his service revolver out.

Within the hour the park was ablaze of flashing lights from other cruisers and an ambulance.

Officer Johnson was standing to the side talking to his Sergeant. “When my light hit the window, all I could see was red. The car was unlocked and when I opened the door I saw the body. Well, the pieces. I have never seen anything like that. Blood everywhere, skin torn off the body…”

At that moment, he turned and ran to a dark corner and for the second time in an hour, lost his dinner…


HAVE A GRAND WEEKEND ALL!

Was that a microchip we felt? Wait, are we getting signals from Pluto? Nah, Pluto ain't even a planet anymore...just use more of the gas......suck deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Ms. M.L. takes the cast and is being a little jokester...well maybe she was...or was it the gas?

Hello...Hello...who is in my head? Wait, no way...that can't be Dick Cheney, but hell it sounds like him...DICK, YOU DICK...GET OUT!

damn....suck deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeper

The cast is made and Ms. M.L. says to sit tight and enjoy the ride...OH, we are doing that...yes we are...no more drilling and just us and our best friend the nitrous....well and Dick...he will not leave now..seems he likes it in my head.... damn...

They put the temp crown in...make some adjustments and then Dr. P says, "Well, we don't have to charge you for the second root canal, so it saves you money" (we think he said $30,000,000,000,000,0000.00, but maybe it was only $300.00 and the other number was Dick adding up the national debt...)...damn suck some more quick, maybe he will get the hell out...

We respond with "Well dats bgoob, youb didbn't eben hab to tell me." "

And Dr. P says, "We don't roll that way here in our hood dude, so chill and be excellent"

Wait, who is this guy, George Carlin in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"?

Then finally, Ms. M.L. blows the whole darn thing and utters the most disgusting words we have ever heard in our life....

"OK, I have to turn the gas off, just sit there and breathe the pure oxygen for a few minutes..."

BUT BUT BUT, WE THOUGHT YOU LIKED US...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU...DON'T YOU SEE WE ARE HAVING FUN HERE! (Well all except Dick who is now trying to convince us to go hunting with him....ummmm no thanks Dick!)

Finally...time to leave.... Dr. P says good bye and we shake hands.. Ms. M.L. turns and says "Bring the CD when you come back now..."

Ms. K. at the desk gives us an emergency number and tells us SHE answers the line and not some service and would we like to go out sometime...(ummm well, maybe the gas wasn't totally out of our system and we imagined that last part)...

All in all, one of the most excellent (George? Where are you George - are you in there with Dick..now that would be a scary twosome...Cheney and Carlin...) dentist visits we have ever had...

We leave and head to the office and pretty much realize that ain't happening..so head home and slept the afternoon. woke up for a while, and then crashed again...