Big Leather Couch

There comes a time in everyones life when you have to decide if something is worth it. Is the job you have today worth it? Is a friendship worth it? Is the relationship you are in worth it?

The key to those questions are 'worth it'. Only you can know what the worth of a job or a friendship or a relationship is to you. This last year and a half, we have had to evaluate what is 'worth it' in our life.

We made a move 900 miles to find a new job. It meant leaving behind Matt and some most excellent friends. We also knew that by taking the job our relationship would, most likely, end.

It had not been solid for years, so it was no surprise when it did end. Does it change the care and concern we have for the other person? Hell no...but we had grown apart and needed something new in our lives. We only hope that happens for her.

Was it worth it? The friends we left behind are still in our life. Matt is obviously still in our life and always will be. The job has brought us satisfaction in our career and we have found a new home here in Memphis.
YES, it as worth it.

We have also struggled with a friendship for the last year. Both of us have reached out and tried to repair it and have patched it a number of times. Is it worth it? We think so, or why would we continue to try and salvage it?

Will it be saved? Only time will tell. Maybe it will be saved to the point that we remain friends as we used to be. Maybe the friendship will evolve and change and not be what it was, but still be there, in our life.

We have made some mistakes. They have also. It is now time for all parties to evaluate what the original friendship is worth. We are hoping it is worth all the grand things it brought into our life.

Losing a friend is a real bite. Is it worth trying to keep? Yes!

The move also allowed us to find a new relationship. It is one that has amazed us. How so you ask? Well, honestly, we have never had a relationship that is so compatible before. When we were thinking about this recently, it did amaze us. With all the relationships we have had, none can even compare with the one we are in now. There are no expectations from either of us on how we would like the other to be - because who we are is accepted and DESIRED.

It is open and honest all of the time. No holding back to spare a 'discussion'. When you can tell them there is something bothering you and they listen and you discuss it, well there is nothing in the world like it.

It might seem strange, but in 53 years, we really have never had that. There was always some point where we held back as to not cause a 'problem'.

Now, the problem occurs if we are not honest and open.

We do not have to do something to have fun together. We can cook a meal together and sit on the couch and watch a movie and share a bottle of wine and be totally content.

Being happy just sitting next to each other...watching her face as the scary movie is on the TV...seeing her expressions change is just so wonderful. The relationship is still so new, so we are still learning, but after 6-months, we could not be happier.

When you look into the eyes of the person next to you and you see love and respect and caring and support and friendship, it is a most wonderful thing. I see that now, and even thought there are other areas of our life in turmoil, that look always lets us know things will get better. We also know that when she looks into our eyes, she sees all the same things.