Big Leather Couch

So, those of you who came here yesterday and felt like you were seeing my brain explode into a billion pieces - you were not so far off...

See Wednesday I had to drive the beautiful Nancy to the airport for a trip to N.C. Then I worked at home the rest of the day, but felt weird all day long.

Then yesterday morning I woke and as I opened my eyes my whole body felt weird and I felt angry and just 'off' (Yeah, I know most people think I am off all the time...)

Then it hit me...THE DAY.

THE DAY...

And even after picking Nancy up yesterday, THE DAY, as she returned from her trip and driving her home, our fingers intertwined...and then having to fix the lock on her back door, and even sitting here now typing this, the anger inside of me has just festered.

As I made my way around to your blogs, some of you had posted about THE DAY...Dianne told her story in a beautiful and touching way, and many of her words and feelings echoed my story. Travis put up a stirring memorial...and we wrote each other later in the day, he having a week of uncomfortable feelings, as I did...and it was hard to see those posts and I wondered why i had not reposted my story...but my story is insignificant compared to the stories of those who lived through the horrors down there or the stories of the families whose loved ones were murdered that day.

The last couple of years I have re-posted my story of THE DAY...this year I did not...I just blocked it out of my mind thinking it was next Thursday, even while looking at the calendar and all...

Last week when Nancy told me of her trip, I did think of THE DAY and I held my tongue...she would be flying on THE DAY...Last year I had a business trip and when I realized they had me on a return flight on THE DAY, I told my company I would not fly and if I had to pay for the extra night in the hotel, I would...they paid...

But somehow...this week...I blocked it out...refused to think about it...but in the end, my body, my soul and my mind would not let me forget THE DAY and that day in my life.

I have still not been able to go down to Ground Zero to this day and not sure I ever will. I know many go there to show their respect...I just can not do it...the one time I had to take the Path and it went through the area, the tracks still open to the sky, I sat there, my eyes tightly closed, tears trying to break through...I could not look. The movies? Never will I sit and watch them. The tributes, I can not do so. when they show a scene on the news and I catch that first glimpse of those majestic buildings, smoke billowing, I close my eyes.

Maybe you think it is silly, maybe you think I am being over dramatic about it...you know, I did not even know one soul lost that day. I did have one close friend who worked in #7. A Secret Service Agent. He was not murdered that day. So why does it affect me so? I can not tell you that. I do not know myself.

Some people rallied and went down over the weeks to come. To cheer the men and women who were digging out the site. Maybe I am weak, but it is something I could not do.

I will NEVER forget THE DAY and the innocents who were murdered or the thousands of heroes who put their lives at risk - many giving their lives in the process -


If you are new and want to read the post about THE DAY, you can go HERE

I will only leave you with this...THE DAY after...but I could not think of it to do so yesterday...

I always felt this picture needed to be manipulated so that the flag
was the center of what you see, so I did so in photoshop.

Since that day, it has stood for
Remember
Forever
911
Terrorism