Big Leather Couch

THE COUCH is having a bit of writers block for our seating today.
So, we will let the world speak for us…
Brother Rich sent us this last evening. Funny stuff! Guess he can't get too political over at FOTW

No World Series Game last evening. Moisture in the air in St. Louis. Sure looks like today is bringing about the same. Though if you look at the radar, it doesn’t appear to be that much precipitation in the area.

OHHHHH lookie lookie…THE COUCH is being a weather-person!

“PLAYING IN THE DIRT”

AP- ST. LOUIS - A day later, baseball was still trying to get a grip on what Kenny Rogers had on his hand.

The Detroit pitcher answered wave after wave of questions Monday, making this percolating World Series flap seem like an innocent mistake. Mud, resin, spit, dirt - he insisted that's what everyone saw at the base of his left thumb in Game 2.

An hour or so later, the Tigers found out what St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa thought about Rogers' explanation.

"I don't believe it was dirt," La Russa said. "Didn't look like dirt."

KIDDIES: They saw this in the first inning. Rogers then pitched 7 additional innings and gave up only 2 hits total. Look THE COUCH thinks Rogers is a total ass…but whatever was on his hand only affected his pitching because it got into the heads of the St. Louis batters…Time to let this die.

“IF I WERE A RICH MAN”

AP - DALLAS - Oil industry behemoth Exxon Mobil Corp. said Thursday its third-quarter earnings rose to $10.49 billion, the second-largest quarterly profit ever recorded by a publicly traded U.S. company.

The largest quarterly profit ever was Exxon Mobil's $10.71 billion profit in the fourth quarter of 2005.

They may beat that next quarter, said Howard Silverblatt Standard & Poor's Senior Index Analyst. "Then in all likelihood they will be at that $40 billion mark for the year."

That would put the company on track for the highest annual profit ever by a U.S. company. Exxon Mobil holds that record with a 2005 profit of $36.1 billion.

KIDDIES: THE COUCH is thrilled to have assisted Exxon Mobil in accomplishing this great feat. If they need any additional assistance, THE COUCH would gladly pay $3.00/gallon again. All you have to do is ask. NOT.

“TICKLE BRITCHES BLUES”

AP - DENVER - Drug agents broke up an aggressive northern Colorado ring that shipped methamphetamine hidden in Tickle Me Elmo dolls and other toys, authorities said Wednesday.

The alleged ringleader was among 19 people in custody, authorities said. Agents said they seized more than 45 pounds of what they described as high-quality methamphetamine worth $864,000 and capable of supplying 4 million doses.

KIDDIES: Imagine this scene in homes…"Mommy, my Tickle Me Elmo isn’t laughing…all it keeps doing is yelling “give me a damn fix kid!”

“SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER”

AP-BURLESON, Texas - A suburban Fort Worth school district has halted a program teaching students to attack a gunman if he invades a classroom, administrators said Wednesday.

The district will continue to train students in how to respond to life-threatening situations but no longer will show them how to take down an attacker, spokesman Richard Crummel said.

Robin Browne, an instructor for Response Options, the security company that provided the training, had recommended that students and teachers "react immediately to the sight of a gun by picking up anything and everything and throwing it at the head and body of the attacker and making as much noise as possible. Go toward him as fast as we can and bring them down."

Lesson Three: When faced with an Uzi, reach for the nearest blackboard eraser and aim for the head of the person holding the gun.

KIDDIES: It would appear to THE COUCH that this would be a great time to begin teaching the old DUCK & COVER move again.

"SCARY MOVIES"

Variety reports Lionsgate has come aboard Fearnet, the horror-themed video-on-demand co-venture between Sony Pictures Entertainment and Comcast that's set to launch Oct. 31.

The partnership, said to be in the final stages of negotiation, marries the two biggest producers of horror films to the first network dedicated to the genre.

Fearnet is the first VOD offering to emerge from Comcast and Sony, created to draw on the thousands of movies and series brought together from the libraries of Columbia Pictures and MGM in the wake of the Sony/MGM merger.

Through the new deal, the channel gets a lock on Lionsgate's immense library of scare pics. Lionsgate has been looking for a focused TV partner to help exploit its library of over 1,000 horror titles -- which include recent hits Saw and Hostel -- since last year.

The movies and series will be free to Comcast's digital subscribers. The company will make money from advertising and from license fees ponied up by other cable ops.

It all begins on Halloween right HERE.

KIDDIES: THE COUCH is very excited by this. When scary movies are on, the people on THE COUCH tend to cuddle in closer, and THE COUCH likes that!

THE COUCH is still waiting on it’s listing over at THE-BESTEST-BLOG-OF ALL-TIME…foot taps impatiently….

Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.

Remember .. Nets For Malaria - UNFoundation.org/malaria - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.

SONG TITLE INDEX:
THE CRAWLING BACKWARD MAN: Tobin Sprout
IF I WERE A RICH MAN: written by: Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock
TICKLE BRITCHES BLUES: composer: R.J.Jones
SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER: composer: Alice Cooper
PLAYING IN THE DIRT: composer: Robert Cray
SCARY MOVIES: composer: Eminem