So, yesterday I was put in a situation all men dread. I guess in some ways women might dread it also...but it is mainly a man's dilemma.
I went and had my haircut. The woman who cuts my hair, also cuts Nancy's. This past weekend the stylist got married, but she and her husband had decided to not go on a honeymoon right away.
I thought that was curious...but it ends up being part of this story I guess. I say I guess, because I am not totally sure. Why am I not totally sure...well, that is because of the dilemma.
So, I walk in and greet "A" and hand her a card from Nancy and I. She thanks me and we go to wash my hair. I am walking behind and I say to myself "Self, "A" is getting big..could she be...???"
Then, as we go back to the chair she shows me a small photo book a niece did for her the day of the wedding. Well, my eyes almost popped out of my head because "A" was about to pop out of her dress in the pictures. that is when I look closer at her standing next to me and I see they are HUGE in person also.
Then y eyes drift downward and I am almost positive..yup totally positive there is a baby bump. My mouth opens to ask that question and then my brain comes back on line...
"What are you some kind of freaking nutcase??? No freaking way are you going to say those words...HECK-A-DOODLE NOT IN A BILLION YEARS"
So I stay quiet, though my eyes keep looking at the belly and my thoughts are...go ahead and ask. Which is met by a resounding scream in my head "HECK-A-DOODLE NOOOOOOO!!!"
So, what did I do as soon as I left the salon? I called Nancy, and she says..."Well, she never told me she was, but her Facebook page says she is."
So, in the end, I could have asked that question...but the genetics of the male species has evolved over the thousands of years we have been on this planet to never ask the following questions:
"Hey, are you pregnant?"
"Wow, when did you gain weight?"
"Can we invite your sister into bed with us?"
I went and had my haircut. The woman who cuts my hair, also cuts Nancy's. This past weekend the stylist got married, but she and her husband had decided to not go on a honeymoon right away.
I thought that was curious...but it ends up being part of this story I guess. I say I guess, because I am not totally sure. Why am I not totally sure...well, that is because of the dilemma.
So, I walk in and greet "A" and hand her a card from Nancy and I. She thanks me and we go to wash my hair. I am walking behind and I say to myself "Self, "A" is getting big..could she be...???"
Then, as we go back to the chair she shows me a small photo book a niece did for her the day of the wedding. Well, my eyes almost popped out of my head because "A" was about to pop out of her dress in the pictures. that is when I look closer at her standing next to me and I see they are HUGE in person also.
Then y eyes drift downward and I am almost positive..yup totally positive there is a baby bump. My mouth opens to ask that question and then my brain comes back on line...
"What are you some kind of freaking nutcase??? No freaking way are you going to say those words...HECK-A-DOODLE NOT IN A BILLION YEARS"
So I stay quiet, though my eyes keep looking at the belly and my thoughts are...go ahead and ask. Which is met by a resounding scream in my head "HECK-A-DOODLE NOOOOOOO!!!"
So, what did I do as soon as I left the salon? I called Nancy, and she says..."Well, she never told me she was, but her Facebook page says she is."
So, in the end, I could have asked that question...but the genetics of the male species has evolved over the thousands of years we have been on this planet to never ask the following questions:
"Hey, are you pregnant?"
"Wow, when did you gain weight?"
"Can we invite your sister into bed with us?"
The incomparable Billie Holiday...."God Bless The Child"
