Showing posts with label Dentist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dentist. Show all posts

DENTIST - A MEMORY...

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Thursday, September 22, 2011 4 Of Your Sparks

Dentist appointment today - so I flashed back and will share via the
WAY-BACK MACHINE, A post as originally shared on 08/17/07:



All ya'all know we broke a tooth on Sunday...who knew you shouldn't use 60# test to floss with...sheesh, we live in the South now and fishing line is much less expensive than dental floss down here.

The tooth was like one of those Hollywood sets where the houses are just a flat surface with nothing behind them...SO, we needed to find a dentist and deal with the cost...

After some investigation we began making some calls. Who used our insurance, who dealt with our dental credit...in Memphis, we could not find one who took both so we began taking notes and trying to decide what was better, out of network or pay out of my pocket....

We called one office and spoke with the woman who answered the phone. Ms. K. was very sweet and welcoming and assured this big dentist phobic that they would care for me with kid-gloves.

Her caring nature made the decision for us and we made an appointment after confirming that nitrous would be available...


So, the next morning we walk into the office and are confronted with a sign on the wall which stated "WE CATER TO COWARDS" AH! we are home....LOL

Walking up to the window Ms. K. smiles and says "Morning Vince, please fill out the paperwork." Without me having to say a word! OK, we are feeling even better...not like other Doctor or Dentist offices we have been in where they barely look at you when you come in for a visit...

We fill out the paperwork and hand it in and within 2 minutes the door opens and we are welcomed by the Dr. P's assistant Ms. M.L. with a smile and a chuckle..."So, you are not a fan of the dentist." she says...

"No ma'am, I am not." we reply. Truth is we would rather her just chop my thumbs off with a rusty 200 year old axe then sit in a dentist's chair...

So, she grabs me by the hair and drags me down the hall kicking and screaming "I WANT MY MOMMY!"

"Well we will take good care of you, you want the nitrous correct?"

"Yes ma'am I do." And some quaaludes and maybe a liter of Gentleman Jack too...ya got that here?


We go into the room and we take a seat. We chat for a few minutes as she asks where we are from - well yes dear readers, we still have our Northern accent so we get asked that question often..can you believe it? bwahahahahahaahahahahahaha

In walks Dr. P. an older man (hell, he is probably our age LOL) and we shake hands and he asks where we are from, how long we have been in Memphis and Ms. M.L. mentions that they have a 'coward' in the chair and after looking around wondering who she means, we realize it is us and yes, we immediately agree.

Dr. P. assures us we are in good hands and then says "Let's take a look."

Into the mouth goes that little mirror and we hear him say "OH!"

Crap...what does he see? Are there little germy monsters building homes where my tooth was? Will my whole mouth have to be fumigated? Will all my teeth fall out?

"Almost nothing left there." he says.

We use our Hollywood lot analogy and he laughs and says, "Yeah, that is just about it!"

Make them like you and they have a harder time hating you and using the non-sterilized instruments...

Time to take an x-ray and Ms. M.L. takes care of that chore.

Then she straps the gas mask on and says "I will set it at our normal level and let's see how you do."

Immediately the words spill from our mouth (which hurts like hell at this point) "Crank it M.L., I can take it, believe me" Then we sigh and say "ARGGGG"

"What is wrong?"

"I forgot my musiccccccccccccccccccccc!" How the hell could we do that! The Allman Brothers "EAT A PEACH" was right next to my keys on my counter...

"Oh, sorry, we have a CD player, but only classic music."


Ummmm no that will NOT do...suck it up you wimp, you have the gas flowing and you already took 4 HUGE hits and can feel it coming on...

We close our eyes and begin to breathe deeply. Ever have nitrous?

It starts slowly and you begin to feel a numbness...almost like your whole body is on Novocaine...and things get intensified....but you really do not care what is going on around you.


THE COUCH BACKSTORY:...as a kid (8-10 years old), we went to the dentist one day. And he kicked the gas in and gave us a shot of novacaine. We were out of it for sure and began to 'hallucinate'...we were outside a pyramid (NO MO, we were not with you and Gram in Egypt!) then a doorway opens and we step into the pyramid.

As we step inside, the door closes behind us and it gets darker, but not pitch black...In the center of the pyramid is two gear wheels slowly turning. As we stand there watching a tooth begins to extend out of our mouth...stretching longer and longer, until it gets caught in the gear wheels and we feel it pull out of my mouth.

At that point, my eyes open in the chair and there is the dentist holding a tooth in a pair of clamps! Never ever forget that day....very weird...



OK, back to Wednesday...Dr. P then comes back and proceeds to give me two shots of novacaine...one in the roof of my mouth..man those do hurt....

He then says, "Looking at the x-ray, well it looks like that tooth has two root canals." AND IT HITS ME!

In NJ we used a hack for a while and we remember he did a root canal and then it still hurt and he told us we needed a second one done....SO it was THAT tooth!

We discuss the cost of the treatment and it is doable so we say "Rock and Roll", though it was probably not that clear as our mouth is numb and the gas is doing it's job....

He begins working and - as we always do - our eyes close..we do NOT like to watch...nope...no...no... remember "We Cater To Cowards".....

The work begins and as he begins to drill, our eyes open.... hummmmm it hurts...can feel pain...so we get Ms. M.L.'s attention and with my hand indicate "TURN THAT SUCKER UP!" and she smiles and boosts the flow of gas a bit more....

Breathe deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep ..... fuzzy....fuzzy...fuzzier.....total fuzz....

"Hummmmm" says Dr. P and of course, we look up...

What the heck can be wrong NOW?!?!?

"It seems there is only one root canal here and the other hole was an attempt to get the root, but was not successful, so that is good news for you..."

FREAKING NJ HACK DOG BREATHE LOSER PIECE OF ....


Eyes close again...breathe deep... see, if you just breathe through your nose, you stay in the fuzz zone, but if you begin to breathe through your mouth the fuzziness begins to clear as more oxygen gets into your system and overrides the nitrous....

They are working...we are missing our music..the music on the radio is vanilla pop rock- ugh ...but with the gas it has become a beating echoing...mass of noise...

We hear Ms. M.L. say "He is a good patient."

"Yes he is." answers Dr. P

We smile - well as much as one can smile with two hands shoved into your mouth and a drill moving in and out, but we tap the gas mask and mumble "Gib me dis anb I be da bestest padtent in da worlb"

They both laugh...

Well, we are now to a point where he has completed getting the tooth out and doing whatever else he needed to do....Chase the germies out of their homes?...rebuild my whole jaw from the hack?....install a tiny microchip that will allow the government to track my every move?
They begin to take casts for the crown...OH yeah... needed a post since there was nothing left of the tooth....and of course Mr. Tongue just neeeeeds to touch it... YUKKERS....


Was that a microchip we felt? Wait, are we getting signals from Pluto? Nah, Pluto ain't even a planet anymore...just use more of the gas......suck deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Ms. M.L. takes the cast and is being a little jokester...well maybe she was...or was it the gas?

Hello...Hello...who is in my head? Wait, no way...that can't be Dick Cheney, but hell it sounds like him...DICK, YOU DICK...GET OUT!

damn....suck deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeper

The cast is made and Ms. M.L. says to sit tight and enjoy the ride...OH, we are doing that...yes we are...no more drilling and just us and our best friend the nitrous....well and Dick...he will not leave now..seems he likes it in my head.... damn...

They put the temp crown in...make some adjustments and then Dr. P says, "Well, we don't have to charge you for the second root canal, so it saves you money" (we think he said $30,000,000,000,000,0000.00, but maybe it was only $300.00 and the other number was Dick adding up the national debt...)...damn suck some more quick, maybe he will get the hell out...

We respond with "Well dats bgoob, youb didbn't eben hab to tell me." "

And Dr. P says, "We don't roll that way here in our hood dude, so chill and be excellent"

Wait, who is this guy, George Carlin in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"?




Then finally, Ms. M.L. blows the whole darn thing and utters the most disgusting words we have ever heard in our life....

"OK, I have to turn the gas off, just sit there and breathe the pure oxygen for a few minutes..."

BUT BUT BUT, WE THOUGHT YOU LIKED US...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU...DON'T YOU SEE WE ARE HAVING FUN HERE! (Well all except Dick who is now trying to convince us to go hunting with him....ummmm no thanks Dick!)

Finally...time to leave.... Dr. P says good bye and we shake hands.. Ms. M.L. turns and says "Bring the CD when you come back now..."

Ms. K. at the desk gives us an emergency number and tells us SHE answers the line and not some service and would we like to go out sometime...(ummm well, maybe the gas wasn't totally out of our system and we imagined that last part)...

All in all, one of the most excellent (George? Where are you George - are you in there with Dick..now that would be a scary twosome...Cheney and Carlin...) dentist visits we have ever had...

We leave and head to the office and pretty much realize that ain't happening..so head home and slept the afternoon. woke up for a while, and then crashed again...


So, if you are looking for a dentist in the Memphis area...let us know and we will turn you on to Dr. P, Ms. K. and Ms. M.L. (oh let's not forget the hygienist who will be cleaning our teeth in two weeks, - with the nitrous of course - we told you C-O-W-A-R-D!), Ms. M.....

This is a real find for us and we thank them for their skills and caring...

Yeah, we did tell them we would be writing about this and Dr. P made sure he got THE COUCH'S address...

so..everyone all at once

HI DR. P....HI MS K. .....HI MS. M.L. .....HI MS. M.!!!!!!!!!

See all ya'll on the 30th for my next appointment!



The Master...Mr. Spike Jones
"All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"


Full Story

Consider If You Will...

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Monday, December 22, 2008 28 Of Your Sparks

Hope y'all had a great weekend. Time with Mom Joan and Dad Vince was great, though it didn't turn out as planned...actually...nothing went as planned after Wednesday...

HIT PLAY

That's right, somewhere along the line Rod Serling stepped between me and the world and uttered the following:

"Imagine if you will, one Vinny Marini. A common man who has been nervous about a dentist appointment all day.

Yet it is not the dentist appointment he is just leaving that should have him worried...it is something that will change his next 24 hours. Because you see, our reluctant subject has just crossed over, from a nitrous buzz and straight into...The...Twilight...Zone..."

I come walking out of he dentist office and into my car. A simple ride home and I lay down on the couch. The appointment had actually gone well. He did two caps, on on the top left the other on the bottom left. It took a few attempts for him to get the nitrous set right, beginning at a 50% mix..."HA" - I chided him - "If you think 50% is going to work, you are mistaken kind sir." We finally got it set to 71% and all worked well and his methods are really quite good.

There were a few times when I tensed up and that might have contributed to...

Well, we are getting ahead of ourselves now...



I put on the television, my mouth is a little sore, but nothing like I had imagined.

As the night glides on, I even eat a sandwich and continue to put things away in preparation for mom and dad's arrival on Thursday.

Finally, I head upstairs around 11:00pm and put out towels for them. I then grab the canister of hairspray and bend over to put it in the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom upstairs.

AND THEN IT HAPPENS
HIT PLAY

A lightening bolt flashes in my eyes, I hear a 'snap', my legs go out from under me an I am on the floor.

MUSCLE SPASM!!!!
And a bad one. I am lying on my side, back arched backward, hand on my lower back, just trying to massage it away...but I knew from past experiences all I needed to do was get up on the bed and let it settle and then I will be able to get up and get some pain meds and a back wrap.

I drag myself to my bed and find my way under the covers. Back hurts, but this has happened before, it will be better soon.

And I fall off to sleep...until I wake at around midnight and my bladder is calling. I roll onto my side and begin to drift off the edge when BAM! Lightening, Electrical Impulses and I am in huge pain.

I try again and again over the next 15 minutes and there is just no way I am getting up. So, using a mug I take with me to bed that contains juice, I improvise and then fall back to sleep.

Only to find myself awake again at about 4:00am and I am in pain and the bladder is calling again...WTF!?!?!?!?!

Over the next half-hour I try every configuration possible to get offf the bed and then finally just 'pushed' myself off onto the floor, breaking my fall but putting me into a 15 minute spasm.

I drag myself toward the bathroom figuring I can lift myself on the door jam and counter top from the sink...

NOPE...not going to happen and the trash cannister became another make-shift latrine...

HEY..YOU GUYS ENJOYING THE MINUTIA??????? LOL

So, now I am finally comfortable, on the carpet in my bedroom, gazing at my bed and knowing that I am not getting up there again at this point.

I crawl over to the bed and grab the comforter and slowly drag it off onto the floor. Luckily, one of my pillows also came along for the ride. I lay there with the comforter wrapped around me and I drift off to sleep again.

My cell phone? Where is it? It is somewhere around 7:00am (I am guessing since I can not see a clock - but the light outside the window looks about 7:00am.

OH, you know what that means ... right?

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP - BEEP BEEP-BEEP - BEEP-BEEP BEEP - BEEP-BEEP-BEEP - BEEP-BEEP-BEEP - BEEP-BEEP-BEEP

My alarm clock! And for the next hour, I got to listen to the BEEP-BEEP-BEEP...

Nancy is 4 hours south on a business trip. Mom and dad are 6 hours away outside Atlanta.

Throughout the day, I try and get myself up, only to be interrupted by another spasm. Never has the back been in this shape. I call over to the Chiropractor and he asks if I can get ice on it --- um no, the ice is downstairs.

Man I could use something to drink. My lips are parched - I bet they are covered in white junk. My mouth has three layers of gunk in it...The only thing I might be able to crawl over to and drink from is my mug...but - um...nope, I am not that delirious that I would stoop to that.

Nancy is calling whenever she can and is trying to find Ernie and see if he can get over. Mom and dad are calling.

I send an email or two from my 'crackberry' as SONGBIRD from "The Ice Box" calls them, so I had friends checking in during the day.

At about 3:30 or so, Ernie showed up and got me something to drink and sat and kept me company. Mom and dad arrived some 45 minutes later and dad and Ernie tried to get me up and I went into spasms again and went to the floor in some of the worst pain I had had up until that point.

Then I hit 911 and for only the third time in my life (the last two in Memphis, the first when I had an appendectomy attack in college), I was picked up by an ambulence.

The two guys came in and cradled me under the legs and forearms and hoisted. It hurt, but no spasm. Then one grabbed me from behind and the other lifted my legs and they carried me down the stairs and onto the gurney. The one Fireman/EMT asked how bad my pain was and then administered his B.S. Meter (Took my blood pressure) and confirmed I was in pain as my BP was 180/112 or something like that!

As they are taking me out, one of the guys says "Wow, someone is into photography." and then while in the ambulance he begins quizzing me on my vinyl. I guess in their job they must be very observant.

They called in and the doctor said not to administer any drugs. I went right into a treatment area and the nurse was there asking questions. Mom and dad had followed in their car and also arrived.

Within 45 minutes, I had a doctor checking me out and then explained they were going to give me a cocktail of muscle relaxer, pain killer and steroid and then give me prescriptions for each in pill form for the next 5 days.

Nancy showed up and that also helped my situation. About 45 minutes after the 'cocktail' I was feeling much better - besides the pain killer that is!! - The muscle was loosening and the spasms had stopped, so we headed home.

Mom and dad decided to take a hotel room as they can not sleep on the pull-out I normally use when they come. Of course, I could not use it at that point.

Friday, I actually got to work for about 5 hours and then came home. Mom, dad and I went and ate pizza at the only place I have found that makes an almost NY pizza...

Saturday I picked them up at the hotel and we went to Nancy's and had pasta and my gravy. Mom had brought me some Fusilli from Florida, as you can not get that style here in Memphis, and it is one of my favorites. They make it in a short and long variety...my fav is the long thinner cut.




We had a real nice visit and Ernie and Peter presented dad with an Ole Miss Football shirt they had. It might not fit dad, but the gesture was really cool.

So, as a recap...I spent about 12.5 hours on the floor of my bedroom unable to move with back spasms and the funny thing is...it did not seem like it was that long. I slept as much as i laid there awake. The pain forcing me to drift off.

I owe Ernie a huge debt of gratitude. It was not easy for him to come into the apartment and see me there on the floor...OH, plus Nancy and I had a mis-communication and she thought I was naked (as I sleep), but I had gotten a pair of shorts on that were in the pile to be washed, so he also thought he was coming up to be frightened beyond anything that could ever traumatize him the rest of his life!

THANK YOU ERNIE...

To Mom Joan and Dad Vince, thank you for all you guys did while you were here. It was not the visit we planned, but the point was getting to see you both for the holiday.

LOVE YOU BOTH

To Nancy, who was a rock on the phone and tried to rearrange things to come home early. She came right to the hospital and then made sure I was totally settled when I arrived back at the apartment from the hospital. You were great getting the dinner together on Saturday and making sure Mom and dad felt at home...which they did!

YOU MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE - LOVE YOU



The back is still pretty stiff and the steroids are giving me weird dreams and interrupting my sleep. Each day I cut down 1 one on them, and am complete in 2 more days.

I will then try and get in to see my Chiropractor for an adjustment.

Hey Rod...ready to wrap this up?

HIT PLAY

"One man confronting the unknown. Relegated to a prone position on the carpet in his bedroom. Within each of us, we have a response to this situation. Mr. Vinny Marini took the position to hold tight and await rescue he knew. Another might have made the emergency call earlier.
The way each and every one of us reactions is almost certainly changed when that decision has to be made in The...Twilight...Zone."


Recorded on Sept. 11, 1977, for Crosby's "Merrie Olde Christmas" TV special. A month later, Crosby was dead of a heart attack. The special was broadcast on CBS about a month after his death.

A Great collaboration...




Full Story

WAYBACK MACHINE THURSDAY...

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Thursday, December 18, 2008 12 Of Your Sparks

Not in a mood to write today after 2 root canals, so we give you a
WAY-BACK MACHINE post as originally shared on 08/17/07:



All ya'all know we broke a tooth on Sunday...who knew you shouldn't use 60# test to floss with...sheesh, we live in the South now and fishing line is much less expensive than dental floss down here.

The tooth was like one of those Hollywood sets where the houses are just a flat surface with nothing behind them...SO, we needed to find a dentist and deal with the cost...

After some investigation we began making some calls. Who used our insurance, who dealt with our dental credit...in Memphis, we could not find one who took both so we began taking notes and trying to decide what was better, out of network or pay out of my pocket....

We called one office and spoke with the woman who answered the phone. Ms. K. was very sweet and welcoming and assured this big dentist phobic that they would care for me with kid-gloves.

Her caring nature made the decision for us and we made an appointment after confirming that nitrous would be available...


So, the next morning we walk into the office and are confronted with a sign on the wall which stated "WE CATER TO COWARDS" AH! we are home....LOL

Walking up to the window Ms. K. smiles and says "Morning Vince, please fill out the paperwork." Without me having to say a word! OK, we are feeling even better...not like other Doctor or Dentist offices we have been in where they barely look at you when you come in for a visit...

We fill out the paperwork and hand it in and within 2 minutes the door opens and we are welcomed by the Dr. P's assistant Ms. M.L. with a smile and a chuckle..."So, you are not a fan of the dentist." she says...

"No ma'am, I am not." we reply. Truth is we would rather her just chop my thumbs off with a rusty 200 year old axe then sit in a dentist's chair...

So, she grabs me by the hair and drags me down the hall kicking and screaming "I WANT MY MOMMY!"

"Well we will take good care of you, you want the nitrous correct?"

"Yes ma'am I do." And some quaaludes and maybe a liter of Gentleman Jack too...ya got that here?


We go into the room and we take a seat. We chat for a few minutes as she asks where we are from - well yes dear readers, we still have our Northern accent so we get asked that question often..can you believe it? bwahahahahahaahahahahahaha

In walks Dr. P. an older man (hell, he is probably our age LOL) and we shake hands and he asks where we are from, how long we have been in Memphis and Ms. M.L. mentions that they have a 'coward' in the chair and after looking around wondering who she means, we realize it is us and yes, we immediately agree.

Dr. P. assures us we are in good hands and then says "Let's take a look."

Into the mouth goes that little mirror and we hear him say "OH!"

Crap...what does he see? Are there little germy monsters building homes where my tooth was? Will my whole mouth have to be fumigated? Will all my teeth fall out?

"Almost nothing left there." he says.

We use our Hollywood lot analogy and he laughs and says, "Yeah, that is just about it!"

Make them like you and they have a harder time hating you and using the non-sterilized instruments...

Time to take an x-ray and Ms. M.L. takes care of that chore.

Then she straps the gas mask on and says "I will set it at our normal level and let's see how you do."

Immediately the words spill from our mouth (which hurts like hell at this point) "Crank it M.L., I can take it, believe me" Then we sigh and say "ARGGGG"

"What is wrong?"

"I forgot my musiccccccccccccccccccccc!" How the hell could we do that! The Allman Brothers "EAT A PEACH" was right next to my keys on my counter...

"Oh, sorry, we have a CD player, but only classic music."


Ummmm no that will NOT do...suck it up you wimp, you have the gas flowing and you already took 4 HUGE hits and can feel it coming on...

We close our eyes and begin to breathe deeply. Ever have nitrous?

It starts slowly and you begin to feel a numbness...almost like your whole body is on Novocaine...and things get intensified....but you really do not care what is going on around you.


THE COUCH BACKSTORY:...as a kid (8-10 years old), we went to the dentist one day. And he kicked the gas in and gave us a shot of novacaine. We were out of it for sure and began to 'hallucinate'...we were outside a pyramid (NO MO, we were not with you and Gram in Egypt!) then a doorway opens and we step into the pyramid.

As we step inside, the door closes behind us and it gets darker, but not pitch black...In the center of the pyramid is two gear wheels slowly turning. As we stand there watching a tooth begins to extend out of our mouth...stretching longer and longer, until it gets caught in the gear wheels and we feel it pull out of my mouth.

At that point, my eyes open in the chair and there is the dentist holding a tooth in a pair of clamps! Never ever forget that day....very weird...



OK, back to Wednesday...Dr. P then comes back and proceeds to give me two shots of novacaine...one in the roof of my mouth..man those do hurt....

He then says, "Looking at the x-ray, well it looks like that tooth has two root canals." AND IT HITS ME!

In NJ we used a hack for a while and we remember he did a root canal and then it still hurt and he told us we needed a second one done....SO it was THAT tooth!

We discuss the cost of the treatment and it is doable so we say "Rock and Roll", though it was probably not that clear as our mouth is numb and the gas is doing it's job....

He begins working and - as we always do - our eyes close..we do NOT like to watch...nope...no...no... remember "We Cater To Cowards".....

The work begins and as he begins to drill, our eyes open.... hummmmm it hurts...can feel pain...so we get Ms. M.L.'s attention and with my hand indicate "TURN THAT SUCKER UP!" and she smiles and boosts the flow of gas a bit more....

Breathe deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep ..... fuzzy....fuzzy...fuzzier.....total fuzz....

"Hummmmm" says Dr. P and of course, we look up...

What the heck can be wrong NOW?!?!?

"It seems there is only one root canal here and the other hole was an attempt to get the root, but was not successful, so that is good news for you..."

FREAKING NJ HACK DOG BREATHE LOSER PIECE OF ....


Eyes close again...breathe deep... see, if you just breathe through your nose, you stay in the fuzz zone, but if you begin to breathe through your mouth the fuzziness begins to clear as more oxygen gets into your system and overrides the nitrous....

They are working...we are missing our music..the music on the radio is vanilla pop rock- ugh ...but with the gas it has become a beating echoing...mass of noise...

We hear Ms. M.L. say "He is a good patient."

"Yes he is." answers Dr. P

We smile - well as much as one can smile with two hands shoved into your mouth and a drill moving in and out, but we tap the gas mask and mumble "Gib me dis anb I be da bestest padtent in da worlb"

They both laugh...

Well, we are now to a point where he has completed getting the tooth out and doing whatever else he needed to do....Chase the germies out of their homes?...rebuild my whole jaw from the hack?....install a tiny microchip that will allow the government to track my every move?
They begin to take casts for the crown...OH yeah... needed a post since there was nothing left of the tooth....and of course Mr. Tongue just neeeeeds to touch it... YUKKERS....


Was that a microchip we felt? Wait, are we getting signals from Pluto? Nah, Pluto ain't even a planet anymore...just use more of the gas......suck deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Ms. M.L. takes the cast and is being a little jokester...well maybe she was...or was it the gas?

Hello...Hello...who is in my head? Wait, no way...that can't be Dick Cheney, but hell it sounds like him...DICK, YOU DICK...GET OUT!

damn....suck deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeper

The cast is made and Ms. M.L. says to sit tight and enjoy the ride...OH, we are doing that...yes we are...no more drilling and just us and our best friend the nitrous....well and Dick...he will not leave now..seems he likes it in my head.... damn...

They put the temp crown in...make some adjustments and then Dr. P says, "Well, we don't have to charge you for the second root canal, so it saves you money" (we think he said $30,000,000,000,000,0000.00, but maybe it was only $300.00 and the other number was Dick adding up the national debt...)...damn suck some more quick, maybe he will get the hell out...

We respond with "Well dats bgoob, youb didbn't eben hab to tell me." "

And Dr. P says, "We don't roll that way here in our hood dude, so chill and be excellent"

Wait, who is this guy, George Carlin in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"?




Then finally, Ms. M.L. blows the whole darn thing and utters the most disgusting words we have ever heard in our life....

"OK, I have to turn the gas off, just sit there and breathe the pure oxygen for a few minutes..."

BUT BUT BUT, WE THOUGHT YOU LIKED US...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU...DON'T YOU SEE WE ARE HAVING FUN HERE! (Well all except Dick who is now trying to convince us to go hunting with him....ummmm no thanks Dick!)

Finally...time to leave.... Dr. P says good bye and we shake hands.. Ms. M.L. turns and says "Bring the CD when you come back now..."

Ms. K. at the desk gives us an emergency number and tells us SHE answers the line and not some service and would we like to go out sometime...(ummm well, maybe the gas wasn't totally out of our system and we imagined that last part)...

All in all, one of the most excellent (George? Where are you George - are you in there with Dick..now that would be a scary twosome...Cheney and Carlin...) dentist visits we have ever had...

We leave and head to the office and pretty much realize that ain't happening..so head home and slept the afternoon. woke up for a while, and then crashed again...



So, if you are looking for a dentist in the Memphis area...let us know and we will turn you on to Dr. P, Ms. K. and Ms. M.L. (oh let's not forget the hygienist who will be cleaning our teeth in two weeks, - with the nitrous of course - we told you C-O-W-A-R-D!), Ms. M.....

This is a real find for us and we thank them for their skills and caring...

Yeah, we did tell them we would be writing about this and Dr. P made sure he got THE COUCH'S address...

so..everyone all at once
HI DR. P....HI MS K. .....HI MS. M.L. .....HI MS. M.!!!!!!!!!

See all ya'll on the 30th for my next appointment!



The Master...Mr. Spike Jones
"All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"


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Music On The Couch