Big Leather Couch

Won't be around during the day today. We are BUILDING a Habitat For Humanity house here in Memphis for one deserving family. Though not a true ServiceMaster employee, they asked if we wanted to volunteer and we jumped on the opportunity.

Since its founding in 1976 by Millard and Linda Fuller, Habitat for Humanity International has built and rehabilitated more than 150,000 houses with families in need, becoming a true world leader in addressing the issues of poverty housing. 300 of those homes have been built here in the US.

We were involved with one back in 200o 2000 (where is my editor!) and truly felt a warmth the day the family was able to move in. Our group is one of the last in the home, so we are doing the touch-up things....fictures fixtures(That dang proof reader must be asleep)and the like.

Ever been involved in one? Let us know...

So, last night Steroid-head played his last game as a SF Giant. It is ironic that the Giants have BOOTED him after getting their multiple sell-outs and can forever talk about the current home-run king being a member of their team...guess, giving him one more year might actually show they condoned how he did it. Katherine, you have to be disgusted by the way this was handled...

We don't like the guy...it IS obvious...right? But the Giants are acting like total asses on this one....especially when they say they would sign him at the end of next season IF he wants to retire a Giant...BUSH LEAGUE!

Now, which American League team will come up with the dollars and hire him as a DH?

Still feeling the effects of not sleeping well for a few days... arg...

Before we begin a short note. We want to thank you, my guests, for your insightful comments yesterday. You all showed me that the thoughts in my head were not the beginnings of a breakdown.

That doesn’t mean that the bearded lady is going away (no worries Matt-Man, she is still considering your date proposal), or that Waldo the Magnificent is destined to become a soda-jerk (note to you kiddies...that is what they called the guy behind the counter at the local malt Shoppe – oh damn now I have to explain malt Shoppe) OK, if only we had learned from Mo how to cross out type.. so Waldo will not become a rag guy at the car wash…

My son Matt was a high school athlete. He also played one year of college baseball. I witnessed many high school athletes who were stars. We have also heard of the high school athletes who received special privileges. But …this is the icing on the cake.

O.J. Mayo is the #1 rated high school senior in the entire country playing basketball today.

O.J. plays for Huntington HS in West Virginia. This is his home town, but he has only played there for this, his senior year. For the last three years, he somehow ended up playing at North Carolina Hill High School in Cincinnati, Ohio. How and why? Well, they had a real good team and he moved in with a relative. He played his varsity career as a seventh grader at Rose Hill Academy in Ashland, KY. Varsity basketball as a seventh grader???? Insanity.

So, we begin with the fact that young man has been treated like royalty since he was 12 or 13 years old. Allowed to move from school to school willy-nilly…”hey O.J., come play for us…we will make you a star…screw an education, it doesn’t matter.”

Mayo has signed a letter of intent to play at USC next year, but it is already presumed he will only spend one year there before moving to the NBA. You see he has to go to college for a year since the NBA changed their rules a few years ago to stop high school kids from moving right into the NBA.

Now O.J. also has to take gym class. And in gym class they play basketball. It has been reported that O.J. isn’t the best classmate. Earlier this season, the following incident occurred as reported by many different news agencies… see whatever this kid does is news…

Seems, O.J. screamed at his teammate in gym class to pass him the ball during a game of hoops. Mayo later apologized, but said the teammate, Jared Wyman, should not be allowed to dribble the ball up court under any circumstances.

“Dude! Give me the ball! Come on!” screamed Mayo as Wyman clumsily dribbled up the court on a fast break. “Over here! What the fuck? I’m O.J. Mayo! I’m the top high school basketball player in the country! Give me the ball, you fat shit!”

Finally, Wyman passed the ball over to Mayo, who drove to the basket and executed a ferocious slam dunk while stepping on the forehead of the opposing defender.

“Yea! That’s what I’m talking about!” he screamed as he made his way back down the court. “Nice pass, Jared! Way to go. Now get back on defense, and if you get the ball again, pass it to me. I promise I’ll pass it right back.” Yeah, right...surrrrrrrrrrrrrre he will.

“I guess I’m just so used to playing on real basketball teams that I can get a little impatient in gym class,” said Mayo. “But even a non-basketball playing fat kid should know enough not to put the ball on the floor like that. If he’s going to grab a rebound he should be looking up the court immediately and throwing me an outlet pass. I wish our gym teacher would emphasize that, but he’s too busy taking pictures of me with his goddamn camera phone.”

Mayo also gets frustrated with other students in his gym class, specifically those who don’t know how to set a proper screen.

“God, you’d think it was rocket science,” Mayo said. “All you have to do is stand there, but most of these kids can’t even get that right. It’s just so frustrating. I should win pretty much every time I step on the floor, but if my supporting cast isn’t good enough, I’m screwed. Let this be a lesson to all the NBA GM’s out there: If you surround me with the right players, I can take you to the Promised Land. If you surround me with a bunch of fatsos and nerds, I’m just going to be another Kevin Garnett.”

Wyman and the rest of the students in Mayo's gym class admit that they’re not in the same league as him when it comes to playing basketball, but they feel they should be lauded for their effort instead of ridiculed for their lack of skills.

“Jesus, I wish he would stop screaming at me all the time,” said Wyman, 17. “I’m doing the best I can out there, and despite what he thinks, I have every right to dribble the damn ball up the court if I want to. So we lose. Who cares? It’s only gym class. It’s supposed to be fun. I don’t see him getting all worked up in algebra class when he flunks a test. I can’t blame him for that, though. Getting good grades is about as useful for him as learning how to execute a pick and roll is for me.”

THE COUCH likes this Wyman kid ALOT!

Pretty freaking horrible right? Well my guests there is more... and this is where it is even more disgusting. Thanks to our friend Travis who clued us in to this part.

This past week, O.J. went to court and got a temporary restraining order allowing him to play in a game against Artesia of Lakewood California, another nationally ranked team.

Why was this necessary...well our friend O.J. was playing in a varsity game recently and earned himself two technical fouls. The restraining order allowed Mayo and FIVE teammates to play in this important game against Artesia.

Circuit Court Judge Dan O’Hanlon (no doubt a fan of Huntington High) set hearings for the players for Feb. 9th and barred state athletic officials from imposing the suspensions until a decision on the players’ procedural rights to appeal penalties.

You see, these are High School players and they do not have the right to appeal penalties when they BREAK THE RULES! The rules have been set to teach LIFE LESSONS...but good old Judge Dan has decided that maybe those rules ain’t right. Nicely done Dan.

Now, why were the six suspended? Well, as we said, Mayo got two technical fouls which means he would be ejected from the game. This is the same rule you play under from peewee basketball right up to the pros... SAME RULE JUDGE DAN.

Now in West Virginia, as in many other states, if you receive two technicals in a game or are ejected for any reason you need to sit out two games. The other rule involved here states that a student …remember we are talking about STUDENTS here Judge Dan, who “in protest lays hands or attempts to lay hands upon an official” can be declared ineligible for up to a year.

See, that rule comes into play because as the ref went to the scorer’s table to report Mayo’s ejection, Mayo bumped the ref from behind. The five teammates were suspended for leaving the bench area to protest the technical and ejection.

So, then they go to court to say “but we wanna play... and I am special don’t you know who I am???”

This gets better kiddies… Mayo’s attorney… a slimy bastard named Mike Woelfel, who just so happens to be the assistant coach at Huntington High – HOW convenient! – told the local paper “We feel O.J. certainly didn’t do anything intentional. If there was contact, it was inadvertent or may have been accidentally initiated by the referee himself.” Wait... the scum sucking attorney is trying to blame the ref….

Guess what Mikey... the bumping does not occur if your client took the ejection like a man and just went to the bench and did not follow the ref.

Under SSAC rules, if a student plays under a restraining order that is later reversed, the team could be forced to forfeit any victories in which the student played.

Let’s all hope the decision is reversed and O.J. learns a lesson from this all. THE COUCH doubts he will and will probably do an interview stating that he is being picked on by “the man.”

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

OK, so Barry Bonds signed a one year contract with the San Francisco Giants to give him the chance at breaking Hank Aarons home run record…wait…or did he?

The contract that was signed included some once in a lifetime provisions. Like if Steroid-head gets indicted over his use of the performance enhancing drug, the Giants can terminate his $15.8 million dollar contract. In addition the contract states that the juicer gives up his right to ask for the players association to file a grievance on his behalf if this happens.

After the commissioner's office rejected Bonds' $15.8-million, one-year deal because it contained a personal-appearance provision, the team sent revised documents to his agent, Jeff Borris.

"At this time, Barry is not signing the new documents," Borris said.

Still, they disagree on the meaning of an unusual provision in the deal relating to Bonds' potential legal problems. In the contract, a list of criminal acts is spelled out in a section.

"Player acknowledges and agrees that an indictment for any criminal act under (that section) . . . is proper grounds for termination of this contract," Bonds' contract states.

Could this possibly mean that bonehead might just fade away? Unfortunately probably not…but THE COUCH still hopes.

OK, Sunday is the SUPER BOWL. The second biggest sporting event in the world behind the World Cup.

Not bad, since the entire world is interested in the World Cup (well except the USA) and the whole world doesn’t really care about the Super Bowl (except the USA).

Peyton Manning, he of the Indianapolis Colts (and arch-enemy of our friend Dixie) has a chance to put a ring on his finger and climb into the elite in the annals of football.

It should be a good match up with the offensive minded Colts against the defensive minded Chicago Bears. The Bears are lead by this Rex Grossman guy who, besides Trent Dilfer of the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens is the least likely Super Bowl quarterback in the history of the event.

As much as the game is important, the commercials seen during the game have become the story over the years.

The most memorable Super Bowl commercial is probably from 1984. And the commercial was adeptly named “1984.”

It was from a small computer company called Apple announcing the debut of a thing called Macintosh and showed a runner throwing a sledgehammer into a big brother image on a large screen (representing the big powerful IBM). This commercial is one of the most talked about ever.

Directed by Ridley Scott (yup him) the commercial played once…yup ONCE and has never been shown (other then all the shows about commercials) ever again.

We also saw the Budweiser frogs for the first time in 1995 sitting on their lily pads croaking “bud” “er” “wise”… umm “wise” “bud” “er”…ummm “bud” “wiser” “er” and the camera pulling back to show a neon sign in a bar in the middle of a swamp - and not a picture of our good friend Bud Weiser.

This year, the commercial to watch for? A man named JP, who doesn’t use his real name so as to keep his plans secret from his girlfriend, has been trying to use the Internet for months to raise more than $2 million needed to buy a single, 30-second Super Bowl advertising spot.

The reason? So he could use the most-viewed television event of the year to ask for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage!

When his online fundraising plan fell short, JP brought in outside help, including a publicist and an advertising expert.

Joe Morin, chief executive of an online product placement company called Storybids Inc., saw an opportunity in JP’s plea. He offered to find a sponsor for the ad — if JP would let him sell product placement rights in a video of the would-be bride’s response.

Morin said last Friday he is in contract negotiations with six companies that have expressed interest in forking over more than $2 million for the spot. He declined to identify the companies but said he expected a deal to be completed by Monday.

Morin said the proposal has already been filmed, but terms of how the sponsor will be promoted haven’t been worked out.

So, kiddies… use kick-offs for your bathroom breaks and make sure you don’t miss this one…

Heck, every year all THE COUCH hopes for is a competitive game.

Be back on Monday with Episode 2 or "FINAL SECONDS"

CREDITS:
MUSIC CODES: Best Audio Codes

BASKETBALL JONES: Cheech & Chong; Composers: Tommy Chong & Cheech Marin
FOOTBALL: Iggy Pop; Composers: Alex Kirst & Iggy Pop

Header: 2007 VEM

Thfriday? What is Thfriday you ask... well it is a combination of Thursday and Friday. Yesterday I was out at a meeting and never got to post, so this is my post for both days...
Sort of like Brunch... That combo Breakfast/Lunch thing people do on Sundays.

Good Luck Elliott Yamin...you will do great...you deserved better this week, but as you have done all year, you conducted yourself with Class & Dignity. Your love for your mother and brother touched us all, as did your silky voice.

• All season and especially the last few weeks the judges have told her numerous times that she is trying to "power-ballad" her songs. She has been told many times to "sing the melody." This past week, her rendition of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" was greeted with such appreciation because she did just that...sang the melody. Her other two songs were totally over-sung. Trying to overpower both, her voice gets pitchy and she loses the flow. Now, I know McMommy is a voice teacher and I put the blame squarely on her shoulders. You can see she is thrilled when Kat tries to oversing..like this is how she taught her.
• She does not know how to entertain. She is totally lost on the stage. Watch her..she sings..looks down and moves..sings...looks down and moves...over and over... She needed to take her shoes off to go on the second stage the other night. Girl, if you can't walkin 'em..leave 'em home...Also, and this is key...I truly do not think she ever ever listens to the words she is singing. She smiles a the more inappropriate times - you can not smile when you sing a heartbreak song...
• Why do I feel she does not know how to present herself? This past week is a prime example, but it has happened all year. When another contestant is voted off she laughs and smile and claps...Yes, you are allowed dot be happy..but wait until you are off stage .. and do not gloat in front of others. This is obviously something she learned at home, because if you watched this past Wednesday, when Elliott was eliminated her parents were up hooting and hollering, totally classless.

• Understands his vocal limitations and for the most part, picks songs that fit him. You can say his dancing is frantic, but he is just letting the music move him onstage. He is not choreographed at all.
• He can command the stage and the audience with ease. All season he has had the audience up and dancing - or responding to him both during and after his performances. When the song calls for it, he stands and sings..(see "You Are So Beautiful" or "In The Ghetto"). He was questioned by some writers this week for his anguished face on "You Are So Beautiful"...hey gang, this is a heartbreaking love song. The singer is so in love it hurts for him to profess his love...that is why the look was not smiley and happy.
• When another is eliminated, Mr. Hicks immediately tells them he is sorry and hugs and/or kisses them and only once was there any sign of celebration (the week he and Elliott were told they were the MIDDLE TWO...not even the top 2). Compare his parents reaction on Wednesday..they stood and applauded Elliott with straight faces..no pumping of fists at the camera (McMommy!).
  

Wow, had all these great "weird news stories" to comment on today and then American Idol goes and turns the earth on it's axis...well not AI, but the fans of the show.

Last evening Chris Daughtry was eliminated! The "chosen one", the person who has been pimped by Simon since they got to Hollywood...the biggest shock ever on AI. There are those who will say Constantine being eliminated was a shocker, but to me he was never really that important.

Now this morning there are reports that tonight on EXTRA, there will be a huge announcement that some band will offer the lead singer spot to Chris. Rumors are rampant...is it Van Halen? Is it Fuel? Well, let's start by saying that unless the producers of AI release Chris from his contract (very very unlikely IMHO), he can not sign any contracts until December...and that is a long time.
If it is Van Halen, say NO Chris...why saddle yourself in a band on the way down. Fuel? Well a better choice for sure, but if someone wants you so quickly, think of the other offers out there.

The entire show last evening took place in the twilight zone...starting with Rebecca Rojmain being pimped for XMen III.. and then her asking Mr. Hicks to sing "Jailhouse Rock" and the producers letting him. The performance was looser then the night before but I truly think it was not a set-up and Taylor was clueless it was going to happen. Of course, by them taking those 2 minutes there, Chris did not get his sing-off at the end...

How did Katharine end up staying? My theory goes like this...at this point in the contest there are millions of viewers who do not have a favorite. These people watch each week and vote for the singer they like best that week. See, I was one of those people up until this year when Mr. Hicks caught my soul. Most of these millions also listen to the words of Simon. This week, though he was not complimentary to Katharine (for good reason), he really was very unimpressed with Chris - calling both of his songs "OK" - and the undecideds are probably less rockers then they are pop fans. Add to this that Katharine is the last female and all the young prepubescent and teen boys are oogling her body and voting based on that ("What do you mean she is singing. I can't hear anything, but look at her eyes")...she is getting that vote.

My desire is to see a Taylor/Elliott final and has been for a while. They are roomies in LA, good friends and the E-Train, Elliott's fanbase, is very cool and kind.

Next week is the final 3 singing 3...the judges pick a song for each to sing, the contestants each get to chose a song and then Clive Davis chooses a song. Mr. Davis is very astute and, in the past, has selected excellent songs for the contestants to sing.

My fingers and toes are crossed that Mr. Hicks decides his choice is "Try A Little Tenderness " (the song the producers yanked from him at the last moment during Love Songs week) and that Mr. Davis or the judges select "Georgia", which is a song Mr. Hicks has sung for years with his band and ... is absolutely fantastic singing.

Wow..two AI blogs in a week... well, I have many many "weird-news-stories" to share next week...tomorrow's blog will be a special one...hope to speak with you then.

Has Barry Bonds retired yet? No? Too bad. AVG. .250 HR 5 RBI 12 SB 0
Babe...even when he passes you, you are more about baseball then he ever will be. Hank, he will never catch you...never.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.

Marketing message... Remember to show support to the sponsors by clicking the links at the top of the page. (It also earns me some dough)!!

Elvis Presley ... The King ... Rock & Roll ... and as they introduced him last night, The Original American Idol... Last night the theme was Elvis and each of the four remaining contestants selected two songs by The King.
After viewing the Idols at Graceland with Priscilla Presley, we see them meeting Tommy Mottola, who would be working with them during the week. Funny, when they list the people Mottola has worked with they show a picture of him with his first wife Mariah Carey, but the voice-over never mentions her...ah, ain't love grand!
Tommy seemed to know the idols pretty well, their weaknesses and their strengths.

Then they sang...

Taylor Hicks -
"Jailhouse Rock" - Classic Taylor...he spent most of the song in the audience dancing and singing and kicking the show into high gear. Excellent rendition of the song, with lots of enthusiasm. No way can you sing this song without moving and shaking.
"In The Ghetto" - Last week Taylor ended the show with "Something" and showed the viewers he has a tremendous voice. To reinforce it, he selected this wonderful song, which is soulful and smoky. This was Taylor's IDOL MOMENT. Chills sent through my spine. This is the way to win this contest.

Chris Daughtry -
"Suspicious Minds" - Actually, for me, it was the best song he sang all season. His voice was in check, he did not try and scream it and I did enjoy the vocals. Now the glasses and his stage performance...not so much.
" A Little Less Conversation" - I thought this was his weakest performance to date, even weaker then his screaming "Walk The Line"...During every performance, I turn from the screen to just listen to their voices. I have always done this. While Chris was singing I turned and listened. He totally disappeared vocally in the middle.

Elliott Yamin -
"If I Can Dream" - One of those "Vegas" Elvis songs, Paula mentioned it was the song he used to close his shows. It started a bit shaky for me, but then Elliott took hold of the song and belted it to the moon. As I have said before, Elliott can sing, no doubt...his stage persona is getting better, but he still seems out of place up there to me.
"Trouble" - Though i felt he forced a bit in the middle and he had this smile/smirk on his face (not a song to smile while singing), his voice is so pure, he overcame it. Excellent job E.

Katharine McPhee -
"Hound Dog/All Shook Up" - OK, the only female, Elvis week, she had to select the right songs to sing...THIS was not one. Her "medley" was all over the place...way too hyperactive...she garbled a whole verse trying to cover up by turning her back to the audience, it did not help.
"Can't Help Falling In Love" - Did she forget she had a microphone and she was not trying to let the people in China hear her? She totally over sang this ballad and was in key for maybe half of it. She hit bad notes when rehearsing with Tommy and never found them during this performance.

Interesting that Simon only told Elliott and Taylor that they deserved to go on to the next round. Telling Taylor after "Ghetto", "You have just sung your way into the semi-finals young man", and to Elliott "You deserve to move on to next week." His comments to Chris were "It was OK" and then "The first song was better, this was OK"...

I think Chris and Katharine after being hyped as the two getting the most votes two weeks ago, will have the lowest voting totals this week. It could be close, but I believe it will be an all-male final three. Katharine will be sent home.

Katharine and McDaddy & McMommy will be taking the short car ride home on Thursday morning. Taylor, Elliott and Chris will be flying to their hometowns to be celebrated and cheered as they prepare for next week.

Has Barry Bonds retired yet? No? Too bad. AVG. .261 HR 5 RBI 12 SB 0
Babe...even when he passes you, you are more about baseball then he ever will be. Hank, he will never catch you...never.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.

Marketing message... Remember to show support to the sponsors by clicking the links at the top of the page. (It also earns me some dough)!!